Intact cultures have many elders teaching by doing. Others witness the genius and emulate it, respectfully knowing that it took generations to acquire this knowledge. As Jon Young notes, Western society does not have an intact culture. I see that we do have elders, but there are not enough elders in our “villages”, our neighbourhoods, and many elders have not been taught the ancient ways of knowing, in community. So if it is up to us to relearn, co-mentor each other, how do we learn the ways of the Healthy Masculine?
Moment by moment. With patience, in community.
For me, I need to celebrate the small victories as they give me an opening that I need to awaken my Healthy Masculine. By celebrating the small or “easy” moments where I notice when my Healthy Masculine is present, I begin to remember my practice through my felt sense experience so that when my shadow sides arise, and they do (especially when I don't even know it!), it is in that millisecond moment where I recall my felt sense that I noticed in my practice.
One way to catch your Healthy Masculine when it arises, is to know how it feels, and what it looks like to be in your healthy masculine. Another way is in the responses you get from others: children will adore it, ask for more of it, and your lovers will soften and trust you. When you experience this, your exploration has got roots, and your ability to pull yourself, your heart, your mind, your body back into healthy alignment in the millisecond you have to notice, before old patterns take over. Some call this your reptilian brain of fight/flight/freeze, others call this your Loyal Soldiers who kept you safe when you needed it most. In that millisecond moment, know that You are alive, you made it, and don't forget to thank those human survival traits that kept you safe, but they are no longer needed, you have choice now to practice thriving through your Healthy Masculine.
Practice your healthy Masculine - in community - and your inner knowing with become louder, and more obvious, in those millisecond moments, that awakens your exploration.